"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." ~ Sophocles
On Valentine’s Day
most of us think of hearts and flowers and the giddy feeling of meeting The One. Romance is fantastic, but love is about relationships of all kinds and fundamentally involves acceptance.
I’d like to share an
excerpt from Siren Descending which examines the different kinds of love.
The main character,
Athenia, is trapped in the underworld after trading herself to the devil in
exchange for her lover’s freedom. Though she knows her life, her powers, and
her soul are forfeit, she agrees to sing her siren song one last
time for the inhabitants of Hades. At first, she only wants to delay her fate for as long as
possible, but she ends up giving even the most repellent creatures the gift
of love through her song.
Keeping her
promise, Athenia gave everything to the song. Opening her soul, she let all her
pain, fear, loneliness, and desperation suffuse her voice. At first, the notes
jangled with sharp edges and discordances, evidence of her anguish. Minor chords
overwhelmed the music with their overtones of alarm. When the inhabitants of
the underworld came out to listen, they milled about, whispering, and glaring
at one another. At a gesture from Gelion, they stilled, but tension filled the
air. Eyes narrowed, Gelion started toward her.
While her deepest
emotions took over, she ignored everything else. She sang of her grief for
Delphie, for what might have been with Thorne, and for the soon to come loss of
her identity. Next, she poured out her longing for the sea and her acceptance
of kinship with the Atlantean Nerei, especially Deme, who had been a friend.
She trilled a
refrain for the other mages, who would have accepted her, if she hadn’t been so
secretive.
When all else
drained away, she let the ballad take her back to her first time with Thorne. The
moment when she’d realized how perfect he was for her played like a movie in
her mind. She crooned her love for him. So
long as he survives and goes on to lead a happy life, I can tolerate all this.
The pure notes
echoed around them, and the denizens of the underworld stood with arms around
each other, swaying in rhythm to her music, staring at her as though
hypnotized.
Three-headed Cerberus rolled on his back, whining through all his
mouths.
After the harpy landed beside him, she reached over and rubbed his
belly. No one moved away from the winged creature this time, though her stench rolled
through the area in an almost palpable haze.
Staring at Athenia
intently, Gelion stood behind the crowd. Clear-eyed, he didn’t appear
mesmerized like the others. However, the corners of his lips turned up, and he
tapped his foot.
As
long as I’m singing, he won’t make me have sex with him. A vision of him
naked and jamming himself inside her made her stomach heave. Worse, he’ll make me enjoy being raped, long
for more, and beg him not to stop. She shuddered.
Momentarily, her
song shrieked into a register so high human ears probably ached. The demons
clenched their claws, some digging talons into boulders, scraping long gouges
out of the rock. Growling, Cerberus shook his head. Then, he snapped at the
harpy, who snatched her hand out of reach of his jaws.
Can’t
let my fear stop me. Must face this with as much dignity as I can summon up. With an effort, she
brought her voice back to the pleasing range and added a hint of hope. Not for me since I’m doomed. For these
poor creatures. Maybe this moment of solidarity will be all they ever
experience, but this small amount of peace is my gift to them. For once, I can
offer something to someone else without needing or wanting repayment. Besides,
they aren’t the reason I’m here.
Everyone settled
down. Now, her voice strained to reach the high, pure notes, and lost some
clarity. I never used my siren ability so
long or with so much emotion before, so I won’t last much longer. When my voice
dies, Gelion will come for me, and that will be the end of me, too.
Sadness threatened
again, but she refused to give in to despair. For as long as I can, I’m going to focus on joy, even in difficult
circumstances. All I want now is to be fully present for every moment of my
precious life while I possess free will. Though my time is almost over, I’ll
make the most of every second.
At the top of her
aria, her voice cut out. She lost a few notes, but not enough to end the
enthrallment of the crowd. To preserve her vocal cords for as long as possible,
she lowered her range. A siren with no
voice. How ironic, I’m morphing into a Disney character.
Time passed. How long has it been, hours? Can’t keep on
more than a few more minutes.
From the depths of
her soul, Athenia poured every form of love into a haunting chorale.
Philia, the deep
connection between comrades in arms, who are loyal and willing to sacrifice for
each other. Though this was partly
what I felt for Thorne, I realize now I care so much more for him.
Ludus, playful
love or affection. Not as serious as
Philia, but important to help us remember we’re not alone in our mortal
condition, and we can make connections with many people, including those different
from us. Like when Bathin helped me.
Philautia, or love
of self. Through all this, I discovered
I’m not a horrible person. Of course, I was misguided to think I needed to
protect myself from everyone, even Thorne. Yet, though I did some awful things,
I’m not bad. I care about myself and want to live, but it’s too late now. At
least, I figured this out before the end.
Eros, or sexual
passion. What I felt for Thorne all along,
what I thought was the most important kind of love, but it’s not. Romance is
wonderful when combined with friendship and affection, and when both lovers
care about themselves, but sex isn’t everything and is empty without the other
dimensions.
Pragma, or
longstanding love. The pain of loss in her chest increased. This is the type
of love I’ll never experience with Thorne.
Agape, the
selfless love, which encompasses all people. This is what I offer you today. She sent agape to every creature assembled, even Gelion. He’s still part of the universe and needs
whatever caring anyone can spare for him. Odd, to pity someone so powerful, but
I do now. In these final moments, I understand so much more than I ever did
before.
The rasp in her
voice became huskiness. Then a whisper. Finally, she stopped. I’m done. There’s nothing left to do or
say, no way to fight the inevitable any longer. Strangely at peace, she
bowed her head.
Through the silent
throng, Gelion marched toward her. None made a move. All of Hell’s occupants
sat as if turned to stone.
Thank you for joining us here on the Pen Dames blog. I hope you enjoyed the excerpt. Want to know what happens to Athenia? My
Valentine’s Day gift to you marvelous readers is a FREE copy of
Siren Descending and the prequel novelette, The Sea Witch and the Mage. Please
drop me an email at katherinesmits@gmail.com,
and I’ll send you BookFunnel codes for both. This offer expires Feb. 28, 2021.
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
