When Life Gets In The Way….
If you are a writer, or artist, or just a Mom or Dad who need a few hours alone, you know what I’m talking about. You have plans, or maybe a deadline you are working against. When out of nowhere a large obstacle falls out of the sky and blocks your forward movement. Okay, by large obstacle I mean your spouse gets sick, the roof starts to leak, the car won’t start, or, horror of all horrors, the coffee maker dies!
And there you are…trying to cope with the immediate problem while you put all your plans on the back shelf. You know, “the best laid plans of mice and men” thing.
How do you cope when life gets in the way? Are you one who finds relief in cursing, or throwing things? Because that actually works for some folks. Like a relief valve on a steam engine, it allows some folks to release the tension and actually relax enough to handle the problem.
Maybe you are a plodder. One who just pushes the anger and frustration deep down and pushes ahead until you have ploughed your way through the problem and found solid footing again.
You could be a handwringer. The person who has to lament the problem for several days before they can finally search for a solution.
Perhaps you are a prayer person. You take solace in sharing your problem with a higher being.
I have found that I am a combination of several of these personalities. And that’s okay too. The point is, I don’t give up. After the sharp words, (I never throw things), I start pushing back while I search for the best way forward. Along the way I usually throw up a few prayers to my higher being, asking not so much for a solution, but for the strength to cope with the problem.
And it always helps to have friends. Friends who really don’t mind listening to you while you wring your hands. Friends who will offer their support, not to fix the problem for you, but to let you lean on them when you get weary. And I have been blessed with friends.
So. Whenever your large obstacle shows up, take just a moment to analyze how you handle it. It gives you tremendous insight and lets you decide if you need better coping skills. But however you decide to cope, the important thing to remember is NEVER give up.
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Thanks for a timely and insightful blog! I think most of us probably use a combination of those coping methods. Like you, I never throw things, which I think adds to the problem. However, I do see the value in taking action to burn off some of the stress chemicals the body releases in such situations. Exercise and house cleaning work well for me.
ReplyDeleteLinda, I'm with Kathy, this is such a timely and insightful blog. I'm not a thrower of things either. I'm a harbinger of stress--holding it all inside. I'm also a journalist. Venting my anger, frustrations, and other dangerous thoughts in a journal helps me get through. I'm also a praying person who depends on the strength of my Savior to get me through the tough times. Thank you for letting us know that we're not along when the journey of life gets really tough.
ReplyDeleteYour post is right on target, Linda. I don't throw things, but I have been known to freak out or mutter colorful words beneath my breath, depending on the situation. I remember screaming into a pillow a time or two. Praying is always calming, as is remembering that everyone has gone through the same or similar. It helps me to know I'm not the only one in a boat. Thank you for sharing your ways of coping. Positive blessings to us all.
ReplyDeleteWhat a perceptive and helpful article, Linda. I tend to go to music and singing to help relieve stress. Apparently, my dog didn't care for it this morning-she came up and sniffed me. Maybe she thought I was in distress....ha ha. Thanks for writing this!
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